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Rata
"I will never, ever refuse to piss. I am not that kind of man" Rata (full nickname: Ratamakafon) is the main protagonist of the most popular Montenegrin Yugioh card review channel, Rank10YGO. It is highly possible that he is not real, and that the presence in the aforementioned channel is an afterimage of a long-passed away Doclean nobility. Appearance Rata is a 22-year-old Slavic man with looks that range between 8 and 35 years old, depending on the weather. He has hair, a pair of eyes, and a vague rest of a human body. It was recently confirmed that he has objects resembling feet attached to his legs. History Rata was born when he reached the ripe age of 13. Ever since then, he grew quite a few years tall, resulting in a fairly convincing human design upon assimilating into society. One day, after experiencing a week of ceaseless nightmares and a severe stomach pain, Rata vomited a wide array of Yugioh-themed videos onto the video-sharing website known as "You're Tube", which resulted in his sudden rise of fame on the face of the Earth. One particularly vile expression of artistry was the video "Pot of Greed EXPLAINED!!!", which garnered a large viewership, but put a permanent mark of shame onto Rata's name because he "only did it because......... look, the meme was popular, it gets views alright? who cares its shit, nobody's perfect, let me go my broccoli is gonna burn" He is constantly visited by ethereal, otherworldly beings, as well as a God who, using his many rods, keeps watch of his presence and makes sure his antics don't go out of hand and put the entire universe into peril. While these figures are portrayed as figments of Rata's imagination, insider information suggests that these entities are very real and are watching you read this. Rata apparently used to be far more opposing to The One Whose Shape Was Snatched as shown in Archetype Archive Cyberdark, going so far as to almost refuse to make an Archetype Archive on Cyberdarks until he was directly threatened. This may have been down to Rata hallucinating at least 90% of the event. By Archetype Archive Ice Barriers, he is far more co-operative due to more threats by The One. During the War of the Worthless tournament, he almost ruined his Blue Eyes White Dragon because of Genex. He was actually happy that Meklords beat Genex. The Genex victories really went to his head, as shown by his hallucinations. He has recently obtained a bunny named Vanilla. It is adorable, rivaling the Chilean Rose Tarantula in terms of cuteness. Later, he attempted to use an alternative means of healing via Crystals. He apparently did not get the memo that such a method is idiotic, and the universe killed him briefly as a lesson. He revived a few seconds later to advertise his channel and was alive and well (As well as he could ever be) when The One dressed him up as a grandmother for a bake sale. The bake sale was canceled due to crime, which Rata revealed could be stopped with a phone call. He also found out that he pulled off the bake sale look rather well. He also celebrates Christmas, and only Christmas. During this time of the year, he decorates the tree with 1st Edition copies of Dark Artist, and spreads a single piece of chocolate on his table. Then again, seeing that he asked if he did well after informing the insatiable beast that is the audience, this may not be true. He apparently possesses a chimney in his house. He was not aware of this. One day, Malefic Rata. This being wore a mask. While under the control of the Malefic, Rata's soul was tied to the Malefic House. Thankfully, Malefic Rata fucking died. Through this review, it was discovered that the Malefic monsters were a Malefic monsters. Throughout the course of several days (Or several times a day it's hard to tell), Ancient Gear Golem appeared before Rata in a number of way: Either in card form due to the influence of The One, or in Rata's dreams through the melodious voice of Chronos di Medici's gender-ambiguous dub voice. Rata drew the line when the card was slipped into his food, and The One explained why the Golems were becoming a thing, particularly in Rata's bathtub. It was during this review that Rata decided to make his videos more accurate by installing a five-point scale...and discovered that even with it, the Ancient Gears, after all these years, lacked versatility. After not showing his form while looking over the Toons, he reached a stunning revelation about the Dragons of Yu-Gi-Oh! The Blue-Eyes brings power, while the Red-Eyes...brings a lot of weird, experimental crap passed off as potential. ''He then spilled soda all over himself. Later, he would confuse Vylons for the shapes they were named after, and was thus pummeled off-screen by the One, all while reminiscing over his lost vitality from long ago. However, he would later learn that this vitality was still within him, for by uniting with the powers of a Tired Cat and a Vanilla Rabbit, he could unlock the power to transform into a Magical Girl known as Lunalight Rat Dancer. Many people seem to have an attraction to this form, to the oxymoronic bewilderment of saner people such as those whose duties include recording the events of Rata's apartment. Later, Rata put a ghastly filter on himself, which the One commanded him to remove, being so repulsed by it. A quick review of the worst 'Ju's, the Kaijus, put a stop to it. He would later disprove the existence of Ghostrick Pumpkin...though not the pumpkin communicator that gives everyone a Scottish accent. The One used it, okay? After sitting on his ass thanks to the misadventures of Ojama Lime, Rata had to go hunt down The Cursed Boy, whose name he (rightfully) messed-up, though why he did not call it Mochi Toad is beyond comprehension, as it sounds better than just "TOAD". Alternate Versions of Rata The proliferation of iterative realities in the multiverse has ensured that various versions of Rata exist, some similar and others wildly different. The only constant between them is their propensity to get caught up in surreal, mystical events, usually due to the presence of The One. It has been theorized that The One is the same continuous entity throughout all realities, acting as a parauniversal emulsifier for every iteration of Rata. The one exception is the Railway Series Rata, whose life on the Island of Sodor is the most mundane of all known Ratas. The One has been quoted as saying that Railway Series Rata "kind of sucks. Only kind of." The Rata from Dyax This version of Rata was unfortunate enough to be born in a universe known as the Dyax-verse where all Yu-Gi-Oh!-related media is canon. All of it. Yes, even the fanfiction you're thinking of. When Yuma Tsukumo was off dealing with the Barian World as a Magical Hedgehog Girl, Rata was but ten years old. The negative duel energy given off by duels involving the Dark Synchros and Fake Numbers caused violent shifts in the fabric of reality, allowing the barriers between dimensions to weaken. It was during this time that The One appeared before Rata, claiming to be a Duel Spirit. He furthermore told Rata that his hidden power to see Duel Spirits had awakened as a result of recent tumults, though it may have had more to do with the hallucinogens the one had been slipping into his drinking water for decades before. Rata and The One would be together from that day on, despite Rata's best efforts to the contrary. Rata eventually drew the attention of a mysterious organization known as Aurelius (a subsidiary of ConAgra Foods), who decided to recruit Rata due to his relation with The One. What Rata may not have been aware of, however, was that "recruit" was an internal term in the Aurelius offices meaning "stick a bag over his head and drive him in the trunk of a car to our underground office complex". Rata was initially resistant to the idea of joining a bunch of suited sociopaths who had kidnapped him and threatened to "acidize" his family if he did not comply, as most people would be. He was released after several more threats, only to stumble conveniently upon a group of rogue duelists using B.E.S., Genex, and Ice Barriers. These duelists, who repeatedly assured Rata that they were not part of any Aurelius conspiracy and didn't even know who those guys filming were, honest, used nefarious ancient dueling techniques to empower their decks by draining their own souls. Rata henceforth referred to this technique as "cheating". It was only due to aid from The One and assistance from the Aurielius agents who were completely coincidentally nearby that these self-styled Shadow Duelists were defeated. In order to defeat them, Rata had to accept the power of The One into himself, which he initially referred to as "a little forward, my dude". This bound their souls together, freeing Rata from the bonds of time such that he would remain a 20something forever. The One also became more susceptible to the uncontrollable gyres of duel energy that were becoming increasingly commonplace- Duels like the one they had just experienced could be dangerous, even fatal, to The One and thus to his partner as well. It's like JoJo. You ever see JoJo? It's exactly like that. Despite his better judgment, Rata has remained with Aurelius. This entails very little on his part, as he spends most of his time talking to the internet and arguing with The One, but Aurelius is happy to keep tabs on him. Recent controversies include the "Freakin Babby Duels" series, which was much maligned by his fans, and the "Fight of the Friendless" tournament which resulted in three deaths by soul-draining and the temporary release of an ancient evil which had schemed for millennia for just such a tournament to take place. All in all, a disappointing showing. Deck In the Dyax continuity, Rata runs a "Semblance" Deck. It consists mainly of many early monsters which had incomplete or obscured artwork, retrained to be viable in a breakneck meta full of Tindangles and Goukingles. It has a glaring weakness to Qliflingals, however. Along with a representation of Shapesnatch, The One's mortal foe, other monsters such as Carat Idol, Kaminari Attack, and Moisture Creature make an appearance. Contrary to many of their original incarnations, Semblance cards tend to have innately high attack values, but can activate effects by cutting their attacks in half. Quotes A collection of quotes from Rata's mouth. These only display the best and the worst of the sentences he has spoken. (Rata's first encounter with Alien Guy) ''"*sighs* I need a send off. hey, Alien Guy, play some, summon some alien music!" (Rata's encounter with Mitch) "And that was the weather forecast with Mitch M-m-m- Mitch Mcnaman!?" (After getting wrecked by Shape in a duel) "Meta sheep. Meta, Shape?" (In the intro of Archetype Archive Cyberdark) "Well it might not be profitable but I think NOT making YouTube videos is the future of YouTube videos" (Rata introducing the final episode of "War of the Worthless") "You thought it was never gonna happen! Well prepare for the biggest FUCKING disappointment since Divine Serpent GEH!!!" (Rata discussing Shape's new catchphrase) "It's awful! It should be something like, It's time for a bake sale!" (Rata questioning Shape) "Ok, what is it with you and ancient gear golems lately? I wanted not to say anything and I tolerated having 30 of them in my bathtub, but I do draw the line at having them in my food" (Rata talking to shape while completely out of his mind) "Tell me, SHAPE! Do you know the difference between Blue-Eyes White Dragons, and Red-Eyes Black Dragons?" (Rata talking about B.Skull Dragon) "B. Skull Dragon? Just BE a fucking skull dragon, you can be anything nowadays" (Rata talking about Lunalight Wolf) "Jesus Christ, more like Lunalight OOF" (Rata talking about Priestess with Eyes of Blue) "B I G M I L K I E" Category:Characters Category:Yugimans Category:Small Boys